am going to be escaping J. and the nasty staff,am going back to college next month.
it is called the phoenix course,and is a non mainstream/"special" course,am was on another one some years ago,and the college will not allow am to do a similar course again because they have formed with the college am was at [south trafford] and said because of that,they have to give someone who has not done something similar to have a go,if they had not joined together [south trafford and north trafford colleges] then they would have let am do it,all because they are both ASDAN courses.
the course involves non academic things which is good as the academic side is a weakness of mine,the hands on stuff is better.
it is for a year,am will have one to one support in the class from home staff,the college is giving am a staff pass so am can get in the quick way and bypass the echoey and noisy halls,and giving am a red card to show to staff when am want to have a break.
am also in the process of joining a national autistic society day centre,takes a while to happen as assessment has to go through social services,but because am a veteran in having social services assessments,the home manager has been asked to send a referral so am hoping that the SS do not have to get involved.
staff are also trying to get am and one of the others am live with into a day centre called Stockdales.
Thursday, 30 August 2007
nightstaff ignorance
not to long ago,in current home,am had had a severe meltdown because J. [the screamy attention seeking one],was doing what she does best [or worst,whatever way it's thought of]-constant screaming.
it all started with am running out the house first to get away from it,and sitting, rocking in the usual hide out to try and avoid a meltdown coming on-staff had luckily accidentally left the door unlocked,but outside,a neighbour from the next street was having a house party [with music] and another neighbour on am street was blasting out music from their conservetory as they often do,it all sent am into meltdown.
the staff came out,and restrained am-they then put ear plugs into ears and put the ear defenders over the top and held am down till am had stopped seizing,rocking, and attacking self,they then held am and brought am into the house,brought am upto bedroom,put am on bed and left the room.
J. started screaming because she saw am being brought in by the staff and wanted all staff attention for herself.
the staff stood there treating her like a victim of something bad,and did not bother to come and help am in bedroom,am was too weak and tired to walk to them,so am ended up in another meltdown,it was still day time/light at this time.
am end up falling between the wall/the special matress padding which is there to lessen am getting skull and arm/leg fractures from meltdowns-and the bed,just in the small gap.
when eventually came around from the MD,had found am was lying face down on the hard floor [its the shiny floor board type],mouth was full of concrete as the result of the meltdown had taken down more of the wall,am was also lying in a pool of urine [this never usually happens, it must have been because am had had a very bad MD and had been down for a long time] ,am had also got sick.
it was completely dark in bedroom [so that meant it was night],and am was severely dehydrated and too weak to get out of that face down position,as am built up a bit of strength,am managed to start banging on the wall over and over and over..etc to try and get the staff up to help am.
when she [eventually] came up and am found out it was the night staff,am knew she would not help [T. does not and has never helped am through meltdowns and am have had skull and wrist fractures as a result].
when she saw am and the mess in the room,she started shouting at am like a naughty child,she refused to help am,and shouted at am to get up,it took am a long time to drag self up onto bed from down there,and when am eventually did am started signing for painkillers,am had the worst migraine have ever had-am have a very high tolerance for pain on the outside but with inside pain like migraine and neuralgia-it's bad,this is the reply she gave me,"No Emma,can't have painkillers because the night staff can't be woken up",am signed again and again and again-am was in severe pain and had never needed a painkiller as much as am had then,
she said the same thing,that the night staff [the sleep in staff-she was one of them who neglected am] cannot be woken up,she went off,and am followed,gripping head in pain.
she shouted at am for being selfish,and said that she is not waking the staff up just for painkillers,am would have to wait till morning for some,she also said that am would wake everyone else up if am carried on [am was NV and signing,there was no noise from am up until then].
am started kicking and punching the walls-as the pain was taking over am, she started shouting then said she's going to go wake her up [this was a long time since first asking her as am was close to fainting point].
she finally woke the sleep in staff up,and she got the pain killers,she also said there was no problem with being woke up and why wasn't she.
it is part of the sleep in night staffs job to be woke up when drugs are needed,or when any help is needed,we have a waking night staff and a sleep in staff as this house is classed as being the highest complex needs home in the borough, most of the boroughs residential homes have a waking night staff only.
am hate T. more than anyone for what she put am through,she has got a problem with am, staff have told am because J. tries to harm herself for attention,T. thinks that is what am doing,she also does not acknowledge am existance,am still find it hard not to respect her by greeting her when she comes in,because when am learned to greet people,am greet every person as they are all human so cannot discriminate,even the bastards like her.
if the staff who had been on in the evening,had bothered to do what they are legally supposed to do and read what was written down in am support plan,in guidelines and in am communication passport book [support plan is written up by managers,guidelines, which say what has to happen,such as what restraining types to use,to keep checking on am after a meltdown has happened etc-written by the team behavioral pyschiatrist and the book about am is by am speech therapist who is also an autism expert]....
then-none of this would have happened,he just brought am up to room,dumped am there and went to co work for J. when he is supposed to work with am and is paid to do that.
am have completely refused to have A. working with am because of that and other times have had problems with him,he is very ignorant and assumes am can do everything because am like computers [anyone else get called a expert by people who never have used pc just for being able to locate the on button on a computer?]
sister [who used to work for creative support and knows the laws and rules of support work]said they should have got rid of her for that,that she would have been long gone if she was at her old work place and as she and the other staff who were on were not doing their jobs and risked am life,but they didn't,she's still the same horrible person as she always was,and in fact,does not even tell am when to go to bed anymore like the rest of them even though it's written down to do that,so am only realise it's time when it starts getting light outside,and they call am lazy in the morning when am do not get up.
it all started with am running out the house first to get away from it,and sitting, rocking in the usual hide out to try and avoid a meltdown coming on-staff had luckily accidentally left the door unlocked,but outside,a neighbour from the next street was having a house party [with music] and another neighbour on am street was blasting out music from their conservetory as they often do,it all sent am into meltdown.
the staff came out,and restrained am-they then put ear plugs into ears and put the ear defenders over the top and held am down till am had stopped seizing,rocking, and attacking self,they then held am and brought am into the house,brought am upto bedroom,put am on bed and left the room.
J. started screaming because she saw am being brought in by the staff and wanted all staff attention for herself.
the staff stood there treating her like a victim of something bad,and did not bother to come and help am in bedroom,am was too weak and tired to walk to them,so am ended up in another meltdown,it was still day time/light at this time.
am end up falling between the wall/the special matress padding which is there to lessen am getting skull and arm/leg fractures from meltdowns-and the bed,just in the small gap.
when eventually came around from the MD,had found am was lying face down on the hard floor [its the shiny floor board type],mouth was full of concrete as the result of the meltdown had taken down more of the wall,am was also lying in a pool of urine [this never usually happens, it must have been because am had had a very bad MD and had been down for a long time] ,am had also got sick.
it was completely dark in bedroom [so that meant it was night],and am was severely dehydrated and too weak to get out of that face down position,as am built up a bit of strength,am managed to start banging on the wall over and over and over..etc to try and get the staff up to help am.
when she [eventually] came up and am found out it was the night staff,am knew she would not help [T. does not and has never helped am through meltdowns and am have had skull and wrist fractures as a result].
when she saw am and the mess in the room,she started shouting at am like a naughty child,she refused to help am,and shouted at am to get up,it took am a long time to drag self up onto bed from down there,and when am eventually did am started signing for painkillers,am had the worst migraine have ever had-am have a very high tolerance for pain on the outside but with inside pain like migraine and neuralgia-it's bad,this is the reply she gave me,"No Emma,can't have painkillers because the night staff can't be woken up",am signed again and again and again-am was in severe pain and had never needed a painkiller as much as am had then,
she said the same thing,that the night staff [the sleep in staff-she was one of them who neglected am] cannot be woken up,she went off,and am followed,gripping head in pain.
she shouted at am for being selfish,and said that she is not waking the staff up just for painkillers,am would have to wait till morning for some,she also said that am would wake everyone else up if am carried on [am was NV and signing,there was no noise from am up until then].
am started kicking and punching the walls-as the pain was taking over am, she started shouting then said she's going to go wake her up [this was a long time since first asking her as am was close to fainting point].
she finally woke the sleep in staff up,and she got the pain killers,she also said there was no problem with being woke up and why wasn't she.
it is part of the sleep in night staffs job to be woke up when drugs are needed,or when any help is needed,we have a waking night staff and a sleep in staff as this house is classed as being the highest complex needs home in the borough, most of the boroughs residential homes have a waking night staff only.
am hate T. more than anyone for what she put am through,she has got a problem with am, staff have told am because J. tries to harm herself for attention,T. thinks that is what am doing,she also does not acknowledge am existance,am still find it hard not to respect her by greeting her when she comes in,because when am learned to greet people,am greet every person as they are all human so cannot discriminate,even the bastards like her.
if the staff who had been on in the evening,had bothered to do what they are legally supposed to do and read what was written down in am support plan,in guidelines and in am communication passport book [support plan is written up by managers,guidelines, which say what has to happen,such as what restraining types to use,to keep checking on am after a meltdown has happened etc-written by the team behavioral pyschiatrist and the book about am is by am speech therapist who is also an autism expert]....
then-none of this would have happened,he just brought am up to room,dumped am there and went to co work for J. when he is supposed to work with am and is paid to do that.
am have completely refused to have A. working with am because of that and other times have had problems with him,he is very ignorant and assumes am can do everything because am like computers [anyone else get called a expert by people who never have used pc just for being able to locate the on button on a computer?]
sister [who used to work for creative support and knows the laws and rules of support work]said they should have got rid of her for that,that she would have been long gone if she was at her old work place and as she and the other staff who were on were not doing their jobs and risked am life,but they didn't,she's still the same horrible person as she always was,and in fact,does not even tell am when to go to bed anymore like the rest of them even though it's written down to do that,so am only realise it's time when it starts getting light outside,and they call am lazy in the morning when am do not get up.
Saturday, 4 August 2007
institutionalised
Am was moved out of the family home as a teenager/young adult,due to mums alcoholism,and was moved into a institutionalised residential centre.
it is a large complex,with a respite/short stay unit,and then there is the unit am lived on,which is joined to the respite,and to the rest of the big bungalow building.
there is also a large normal type house on the site to,which houses men downstairs and ladies upstairs.
the unit am was on was called "unit twelve",it was home to people with various different learning disabilities,one man was there because he had paranoid schizophrenia,but he really should not have been there.
He bullied an MR LFAer,who was not able to say or sign that he had been hurt,he would smack him on the head and punch him when staff were not around.
He followed am around,and screamed at am allot shouting he was going to smack "this fucking glass" on am head over and over,he threatened to kill am a lot but am did not know what to do and staff did not stop it.
He was also a "pervert",he kept trying to sit on top of am or very close,and he tried to force eye contact all the time,he also tried stroking am skin-am do not like close contact neither do am like being brushed against/slight touch or eye contact,it set am off into meltdowns.
am did not even know the differences between male and female till last year,as am was very unaware of people as am was growing up,it was sister who told am that he was a "pervert" and that what he did was wrong,the staff actually allowed him to do it saying "oh she doesn't understand whats going on so it's harmless".
The staff there,refused to believe many of the traits am have such as the severe sensory problems,and non verbalism,they refused to believe the traits,and called am a liar often,when they would all talk in the lounge-with the door shut,and am could hear them talking clearly from bedroom which was far down the hall.
one of them-D. kept demanding am take the dishes out of the dishwashing machine,am have no problem with that,but all the things would bang together as am was taking them out due to problems with clumsiness-that would cause very bad pain and set off meltdown.
D. then said it at every opportunity in the lounge to the other staff that am "task avoidant",and am very lazy,he was saying am was faking meltdowns for attention,
another staff man said to him how he used to work with an epileptic learning disabled man who faked seizures for attention,and how common it is.
as someone who can not and does not lie and as someone who does not like such close attention,it was not nice to listen to being called something am wasn't.
the staff and managers forced am to go for a hearing test because they did not believe that am had such a problem,they said am had to go to it.
the testing lady said am hearing went higher than what the software could go to, the doctor who went over the results even complained to am for wasting his time as am did not have a 'hearing problem',it was not even my choice to go.
am tried to run away a lot after that,ran to a special spot,where all the local cats go to,and sat there rocking with them on knee.
managers found out about all of this,and got an autism specialist in to speak to the staff.
D. [staff] had said he thought it was all faked because the notes he downloaded off the internet about it didn't say anything about meltdown type behaviors and also that the other autistics there who were LFA didn't have meltdowns or sensory problems,so to him that meant someone who was higher functioning than them couldn't have worse traits,one of the autists he was comparing am to was also deaf as well as LFA,so how could she have extreme hearing anyway?
the staff let the deaf LFA lady stay sat on the toilet nearly all day and night [one of her habits],am also have to use the same toilet each time like her and can not swap to another one,but they did not care and kept saying am can go use another one [am couldn't],am ended up with long term kidney infections due to keeping it in all the time,and was often rolling around in very bad pain and punching the walls,despite complaining to staff and begging for gp appointments,they never took am,they were not even interested.
when the schizophrenic man needed a tooth to be looked at by a dentist,they booked an appointment straight away and they took the support who are paid to look after am off am to take him to the dentist,when *it was not an emergency and *he had his own support,it fucked up am whole routine,and made am have a worse meltdown.
they still not had booked am an appointment to take am to doctors when am was in agony from the kidney infection,am went to my parents that weekend as usual,and parents could not believe what they saw,am was in a bad way,getting sick,rolling around etc. dad and sisters boyfriend took am to hospital,where am was given strong drugs,to try and get rid of the problem,but it made am even more sick.
parents kept am at home with them that week as they knew am would not be looked after,it did not bother am though as am was out of it most of the time.
a new staff lady whom am did not like-she did not help am with anything,such as tying shoe laces,so am was left to walk outside tripping over untied laces, she also said stop acting like a wimp and child when am refused to get in a bath with some water without clothing on as anything less is like being scrubbed with burning broken glass over and over,instant meltdown setoff]
she knew am did not like her,but she was the only one out of all of them,to finally get am a gp appointment,she was the only one out of all of them who cared that am was ill and something needed doing.
am often ran away from the complex because of noises from the respite unit but staff never noticed am gone,am was supposed to be one to one there,but that didn't really happen,am have no sense of danger or time--apart from light meaning day,and dark meaning night--so when parents found out about what was going on,they complained to managers,but managers said am was not escaping as it was not written down on the "ABC forms",so there it is again,am called a liar.
staff had not bothered about am being out or even bothered to fill in forms.
this year,managers and staff forced am into moving to another residential home,
they did not do any risk assessments [which was illegal?] because if they had,they would have seen the house am in now is completely unsuitable [read "worst person have ever met" for part of it]-that is what staff at this home told am.
they also told am,they got rid of am out of the old place quicker than anyone.
am also found out,that staff and managers at old home had never even done a support plan for am,which was illegal [?] and against many rules,every one else in the house had had a support plan done.
one of the managers said she did not know it had not been done and it was supposed to have been done by the staff.
they quickly wrote one up before am moved to the new house and so that sister and parents did not see a solicitor about all this.
one of the staff at house am at now,told am that the plan the manager did is rubbish and shows no way near enough support as to what am needs.
for an institutionalised residential centre,it wasn't too bad,it was like a community of it's own,with a fence and forrest around it.but the big problem was having such idiots for staff looking after the place.
the whole complex is about to be knocked down,as the council have sold the land it is on,and the last people living there are now being moved out.
it is a large complex,with a respite/short stay unit,and then there is the unit am lived on,which is joined to the respite,and to the rest of the big bungalow building.
there is also a large normal type house on the site to,which houses men downstairs and ladies upstairs.
the unit am was on was called "unit twelve",it was home to people with various different learning disabilities,one man was there because he had paranoid schizophrenia,but he really should not have been there.
He bullied an MR LFAer,who was not able to say or sign that he had been hurt,he would smack him on the head and punch him when staff were not around.
He followed am around,and screamed at am allot shouting he was going to smack "this fucking glass" on am head over and over,he threatened to kill am a lot but am did not know what to do and staff did not stop it.
He was also a "pervert",he kept trying to sit on top of am or very close,and he tried to force eye contact all the time,he also tried stroking am skin-am do not like close contact neither do am like being brushed against/slight touch or eye contact,it set am off into meltdowns.
am did not even know the differences between male and female till last year,as am was very unaware of people as am was growing up,it was sister who told am that he was a "pervert" and that what he did was wrong,the staff actually allowed him to do it saying "oh she doesn't understand whats going on so it's harmless".
The staff there,refused to believe many of the traits am have such as the severe sensory problems,and non verbalism,they refused to believe the traits,and called am a liar often,when they would all talk in the lounge-with the door shut,and am could hear them talking clearly from bedroom which was far down the hall.
one of them-D. kept demanding am take the dishes out of the dishwashing machine,am have no problem with that,but all the things would bang together as am was taking them out due to problems with clumsiness-that would cause very bad pain and set off meltdown.
D. then said it at every opportunity in the lounge to the other staff that am "task avoidant",and am very lazy,he was saying am was faking meltdowns for attention,
another staff man said to him how he used to work with an epileptic learning disabled man who faked seizures for attention,and how common it is.
as someone who can not and does not lie and as someone who does not like such close attention,it was not nice to listen to being called something am wasn't.
the staff and managers forced am to go for a hearing test because they did not believe that am had such a problem,they said am had to go to it.
the testing lady said am hearing went higher than what the software could go to, the doctor who went over the results even complained to am for wasting his time as am did not have a 'hearing problem',it was not even my choice to go.
am tried to run away a lot after that,ran to a special spot,where all the local cats go to,and sat there rocking with them on knee.
managers found out about all of this,and got an autism specialist in to speak to the staff.
D. [staff] had said he thought it was all faked because the notes he downloaded off the internet about it didn't say anything about meltdown type behaviors and also that the other autistics there who were LFA didn't have meltdowns or sensory problems,so to him that meant someone who was higher functioning than them couldn't have worse traits,one of the autists he was comparing am to was also deaf as well as LFA,so how could she have extreme hearing anyway?
the staff let the deaf LFA lady stay sat on the toilet nearly all day and night [one of her habits],am also have to use the same toilet each time like her and can not swap to another one,but they did not care and kept saying am can go use another one [am couldn't],am ended up with long term kidney infections due to keeping it in all the time,and was often rolling around in very bad pain and punching the walls,despite complaining to staff and begging for gp appointments,they never took am,they were not even interested.
when the schizophrenic man needed a tooth to be looked at by a dentist,they booked an appointment straight away and they took the support who are paid to look after am off am to take him to the dentist,when *it was not an emergency and *he had his own support,it fucked up am whole routine,and made am have a worse meltdown.
they still not had booked am an appointment to take am to doctors when am was in agony from the kidney infection,am went to my parents that weekend as usual,and parents could not believe what they saw,am was in a bad way,getting sick,rolling around etc. dad and sisters boyfriend took am to hospital,where am was given strong drugs,to try and get rid of the problem,but it made am even more sick.
parents kept am at home with them that week as they knew am would not be looked after,it did not bother am though as am was out of it most of the time.
a new staff lady whom am did not like-she did not help am with anything,such as tying shoe laces,so am was left to walk outside tripping over untied laces, she also said stop acting like a wimp and child when am refused to get in a bath with some water without clothing on as anything less is like being scrubbed with burning broken glass over and over,instant meltdown setoff]
she knew am did not like her,but she was the only one out of all of them,to finally get am a gp appointment,she was the only one out of all of them who cared that am was ill and something needed doing.
am often ran away from the complex because of noises from the respite unit but staff never noticed am gone,am was supposed to be one to one there,but that didn't really happen,am have no sense of danger or time--apart from light meaning day,and dark meaning night--so when parents found out about what was going on,they complained to managers,but managers said am was not escaping as it was not written down on the "ABC forms",so there it is again,am called a liar.
staff had not bothered about am being out or even bothered to fill in forms.
this year,managers and staff forced am into moving to another residential home,
they did not do any risk assessments [which was illegal?] because if they had,they would have seen the house am in now is completely unsuitable [read "worst person have ever met" for part of it]-that is what staff at this home told am.
they also told am,they got rid of am out of the old place quicker than anyone.
am also found out,that staff and managers at old home had never even done a support plan for am,which was illegal [?] and against many rules,every one else in the house had had a support plan done.
one of the managers said she did not know it had not been done and it was supposed to have been done by the staff.
they quickly wrote one up before am moved to the new house and so that sister and parents did not see a solicitor about all this.
one of the staff at house am at now,told am that the plan the manager did is rubbish and shows no way near enough support as to what am needs.
for an institutionalised residential centre,it wasn't too bad,it was like a community of it's own,with a fence and forrest around it.but the big problem was having such idiots for staff looking after the place.
the whole complex is about to be knocked down,as the council have sold the land it is on,and the last people living there are now being moved out.
worst person have ever met
People often say ASDers get on better with other ASDers than NTs [even with suggestions of having ASD only communities].
but am have had an experience that proves it very wrong.
A lady am live with now,is an aspergan [staff say she has mild aspergers and she is "very manipulative",has "challenging behaviors" but knows what she is doing]and am would not wish anyone to live with her,she is a nasty lady.
She is also a liar,and lies so often,blaming things on other people including am.
she used to follow am everywhere screaming at am to set off violent meltdowns so she could watch them for fun,until one day she did it too close to am whilst doing it,and ended up beaten-cut, covered in bruises and her own blood.
She shouts and wakes am up every morning [even though am have ear protection on] because she does not want to get out of bed and tidy her room up,so she tries to make am suffer for it.
She makes herself sick any place anywhere to get attention from staff,and wipes it in her hair,she shits and then eats it in front of staff or tries to throw it at them or the men who live here [she won't throw it at am as she knows what will happen],she smears it on our hall carpet,which has been damaged from it now,and she throws it on the ceiling.
She makes herself ill or injured so she can go to the hospital,or doctors or dentists to get attention from them,she speaks like a baby a lot and acts like a child to get attention.
She refuses to take her medication,to make staff give her attention to get her to take it.
Her speaking voice,is actually shouting and screaming,she does not speak normally,she knows it is loud but does it anyway,she will stand in the hall at the computer screaming from the moment she is up,till the moment she goes to bed unless the staff take her out,she will scream to staff anything-she will eat her breakfast and dinner there,she bangs her spoons etc on the plate,and that often sets off meltdown in am,when am hadn't had ear plugs in with ear defenders on top,
but staff will not move her from there because "it's her right to do whatever she wants".
so why it is okay for someone to stay in this public part of the house,which is right near my room,screaming all day,eating and drinking and banging away there,when she has a perfectly good bedroom which she can go in and chat in,yet am do not have the right to an existance where am not violently meltdowning everyday because of something that can be helped?
am have had wrist and skull fractures because of her,the other week am wanted to die because of her.
am have to leave the house every evening so she can take ages drying her hair with the hair dryer,she often watches and waits till am have just got dinner,so am have to go out and leave dinner until it is cold and ruined,this often sets off a meltdown or close to it as am need to finish am evening routine,or she waits till staff who are with am,are finishing for the night [am classed as one to one]as am am not allowed out of the house without a staff as not having any safety/road sense.
it is even worse when am have a migraine,or it's raining outside.
she likes drying her hair with a towel,but staff even say it's just to cause more problems.
everything am do,she copies am,and makes life even more hard for am.
when am got some decent sennheiser headphones to see if they would work better than ear defenders that am had,she waited till am had gone home to parents for the weekend and went in bedroom and stole them-she hid them in her room.
when am got back and saw them missing from their place,she set off another meltdown and staff then all night going through her room as they guessed she did it,she kept saying she didn't.
staff found them in her wardrobe,she did not even say sorry,and tried to grab them back when staff took them away.
she then started attention seeking and staff forgot to give am medication that night [tegretol,for both meltdowns and trigeminal neuralgia] as she kept trying to keep the staff in her room with her chatting about anything and saying she was sick,so they forgot am meds.
they even took the locks off the doors in the bathrooms so she doesn't lock herself in for attention,and they did not think how it would affect am.
am have always been used to the routine of the door unlocking in a certain way and suddenly,it's gone,no person told am this would happen-yet another set off.
am also have a problem with using the toilet [unless no one else but the support staff with am is in the house],but am have very bad long term constipation because of this and am only able to go to toilet with that,when at parents house with laxitive.
they know all this,and they knew that leaving the locks on the doors but getting a key made for unlocking them on the outside was a better option,but as usual,am was treated worse than she is.
they did not even tell am and take am outside when the man started drilling and sawing out the handle out of the door,they sat there chatting with her in her room.
yet another meltdown.
the LFAers am used to live with were so much nicer than she,and they have worse problems.
she sees am have a meltdown or one of the men fall of the toilet and hurt themselves and immediately tries to get the staff to her by making herself sick and saying she is really ill.
but am have had an experience that proves it very wrong.
A lady am live with now,is an aspergan [staff say she has mild aspergers and she is "very manipulative",has "challenging behaviors" but knows what she is doing]and am would not wish anyone to live with her,she is a nasty lady.
She is also a liar,and lies so often,blaming things on other people including am.
she used to follow am everywhere screaming at am to set off violent meltdowns so she could watch them for fun,until one day she did it too close to am whilst doing it,and ended up beaten-cut, covered in bruises and her own blood.
She shouts and wakes am up every morning [even though am have ear protection on] because she does not want to get out of bed and tidy her room up,so she tries to make am suffer for it.
She makes herself sick any place anywhere to get attention from staff,and wipes it in her hair,she shits and then eats it in front of staff or tries to throw it at them or the men who live here [she won't throw it at am as she knows what will happen],she smears it on our hall carpet,which has been damaged from it now,and she throws it on the ceiling.
She makes herself ill or injured so she can go to the hospital,or doctors or dentists to get attention from them,she speaks like a baby a lot and acts like a child to get attention.
She refuses to take her medication,to make staff give her attention to get her to take it.
Her speaking voice,is actually shouting and screaming,she does not speak normally,she knows it is loud but does it anyway,she will stand in the hall at the computer screaming from the moment she is up,till the moment she goes to bed unless the staff take her out,she will scream to staff anything-she will eat her breakfast and dinner there,she bangs her spoons etc on the plate,and that often sets off meltdown in am,when am hadn't had ear plugs in with ear defenders on top,
but staff will not move her from there because "it's her right to do whatever she wants".
so why it is okay for someone to stay in this public part of the house,which is right near my room,screaming all day,eating and drinking and banging away there,when she has a perfectly good bedroom which she can go in and chat in,yet am do not have the right to an existance where am not violently meltdowning everyday because of something that can be helped?
am have had wrist and skull fractures because of her,the other week am wanted to die because of her.
am have to leave the house every evening so she can take ages drying her hair with the hair dryer,she often watches and waits till am have just got dinner,so am have to go out and leave dinner until it is cold and ruined,this often sets off a meltdown or close to it as am need to finish am evening routine,or she waits till staff who are with am,are finishing for the night [am classed as one to one]as am am not allowed out of the house without a staff as not having any safety/road sense.
it is even worse when am have a migraine,or it's raining outside.
she likes drying her hair with a towel,but staff even say it's just to cause more problems.
everything am do,she copies am,and makes life even more hard for am.
when am got some decent sennheiser headphones to see if they would work better than ear defenders that am had,she waited till am had gone home to parents for the weekend and went in bedroom and stole them-she hid them in her room.
when am got back and saw them missing from their place,she set off another meltdown and staff then all night going through her room as they guessed she did it,she kept saying she didn't.
staff found them in her wardrobe,she did not even say sorry,and tried to grab them back when staff took them away.
she then started attention seeking and staff forgot to give am medication that night [tegretol,for both meltdowns and trigeminal neuralgia] as she kept trying to keep the staff in her room with her chatting about anything and saying she was sick,so they forgot am meds.
they even took the locks off the doors in the bathrooms so she doesn't lock herself in for attention,and they did not think how it would affect am.
am have always been used to the routine of the door unlocking in a certain way and suddenly,it's gone,no person told am this would happen-yet another set off.
am also have a problem with using the toilet [unless no one else but the support staff with am is in the house],but am have very bad long term constipation because of this and am only able to go to toilet with that,when at parents house with laxitive.
they know all this,and they knew that leaving the locks on the doors but getting a key made for unlocking them on the outside was a better option,but as usual,am was treated worse than she is.
they did not even tell am and take am outside when the man started drilling and sawing out the handle out of the door,they sat there chatting with her in her room.
yet another meltdown.
the LFAers am used to live with were so much nicer than she,and they have worse problems.
she sees am have a meltdown or one of the men fall of the toilet and hurt themselves and immediately tries to get the staff to her by making herself sick and saying she is really ill.
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