New home

Am recently moved to another residential home and have not been coping.
Have started cutting again with kitchen knives mainly-don't feel 'outside' pain due to a high pain threshold,but the tugging/scraping,bubbly feeling causes a sort of..trance that seems to hide everything for a bit.
They have now found out about that [they saw the accidentally thick one from knee to ankle] and they have hidden away all knives,scissors etc,and make sure home is cleaned out of coke/pepsi cans regulary so ring pulls can't be used.

Because of this,the manager came in,had a go at am about it and left-no help at all.
Am have been having meltdowns everyday again,sometimes more than once-staff have said they can't cope with am,and am should not have been "dumped" with them,one staff also said [whilst am was recovering from an MD- lying on the floor,resting,unable to move or see-but mentally awake],he thought am was "manipulating the staff against each other"-because the MD had happened when he came in and said usual support worker wasn't coming in-no warning,not bother to come when they had got the message down stairs.
He said am was "just like Susan" [she used to live there,and she will abuse anyone if she doesn't get what she wants,smash things till she gets it,eg,nothing like am].

He also said "David [the other person who lives in upstairs part] should be allowed to use his electric razor wherever he wants,whenever he wants and if that sends her into meltdown after meltdown after meltdown then so be it,just write it down on ABC forms"[t's actually written down by two autism specialists and a behavioral pysch who writes legal guidelines,to have it organised before so am able to get away while it's done,but him and others ignore it].
After getting better from the MD,got laptop booted up,and wrote that had heard everything he said,and reason for why it had happened and am was nothing like Susan,he agreed and said he didn't realise,the other staff with him had been agreeing with everything he said and she's supposed to be keyworker!

Another staff ruined the big Maine Coon Cat Club logo on bedroom door [which has a big drawn outline of a maine coon cat attatched to it] because he said am was being racist for having the word coon there,when it wasn't just the word coon,there was maine,and CC [cat club] attached to it as well but that didn't stop his complaining.he bent it over and ruined it in an attempt to censor it,and kept coming up stairs to look at it when he rarely works there,the actual black staff who work there said he was focusing on the one word and was being very childish.Got the logo stuck back down with blue tac and had to censor 'coon' with the tac,he then roughly spread it all over and made a right mess of it.
Am cut an article about Maine Coons from Cat World Magazine and stuck it next to the Maine Coon CC logo so he could see about them but he was having none of it.
He's obviously not bothered reading it cause it says Maine 'coon' on almost every line.

Last week,am was in downstairs' lounge waiting for mum to come and get am,and the arsenal match was on tv,
am could not believe it when he came out with a load of racist crap about chinese people-am was NV,didn't know what to think,was without thought...then it arrived-
this man was a nasty hypocrite.Am wish had been able to record him saying it for proof.

Sister agrees with what those staff were saying about the place,she said she thinks the place is not suitable,and am was moved there firstly to get away from Jane.

Am so fed up of being moved around,and of staff in every place saying how much of a burden am on everyone else have lived with,why do they not see it like am do?
Am fed up of saving up money to have room decorated in new home,getting used to everything new, and then find them saying it's not working out,going to have to move.




Also,am would like to sorry to Krystaltps,for not getting back in contact yet-when am have come online,am have been struggling,and have only been up to using WP,will get back on asdf next few days!