retreating for a bit

am going to be spending a lot less time on WP for a bit,due to being very unstable for the past few months because of a lot thats going on in life,and because of a users posts making head manic, though am not sure whether they had actually meant am in their posts now,and would apologise if that was true,but it still has worsened head,was already going through a difficult time and hating self for being such a problem to everyone else [being made to get stuck into that thinking again by staff here and family],so even though it usually would mean nothing,it pushed am further into self hating.
usually the self hating is mostly inside echolalia of what heard others say,over and over and over..
nothing will change until this whole nasty situation of living here changes,and a lot more.


though today overall was better..
am had 2-1 support staff from the national autistic society today,they have the NAS' car so took am to pets at home,got sam some royal canin sensitive cats biscuits [designed for cats who get diorreah from most food,found out about these from the cat magazine],a pile of tins of Applaws natural cat food [sams favourite wet food but can only find in pets at home or online],went for a drive to a big garden centre,had a meltdown there as the bastard thing had a powerful,humming fan system across the whole ceiling and music everywhere.
after recovering,went to sale water park,sat down on the side of the river,near jacksons boat pub? think thats what its called,one of the staff went and got pepsis for all,and am covered the staff in piles of grass as it had just been cut.
then drove to KFC, for the usual,got home,the staff had theirs, and then went.

am went outside a bit later with the regular staff to sit outside with GFB,he was in super attention seeking mode tonight though did not put in as much effort because of the heat.