Thoughts...and stuff

The managers must have been smoking something when they gave am a placement here, what other reason is there for putting am in one of the most sensory overloading parts of Manchester,in a residential home with a resident who likes nothing better than banging things all day?
She likes to slam her wardrobe door and pulls out and slams her draws fast and loud -she will do this all day,whilst shouting to herself,unless staff stop her.
Her room happens to be right under this one.

There was the talk of soundproofing the place a while ago,but because they're looking for a specialist home for am they're expecting am to put up with it till then-even if it takes a long time to get moved.

Yesterday was one of the worst experiences of it ever,she kept slamming her draws and door from morning till night with a few breaks in between, and staff only bothered to do anything when am went into meltdown,had been head banging on the wall all day [controlled] though not sure if was trying to communicate about what was going on,if it was just the affect the banging was having on am or some other reason.

She slams them so heavily that the whole room shakes.
Am had a walk planned with staff at night and had tried to put as much strength together as possible after the early meltdowns, and headbanging to make sure could get out as its the one time in the day am able to without getting too overloaded,but the lady maxes it-she increases the power in her banging,and the randomness of when her bangs happen,another meltdown,
another much needed daily trip out of the house wasted,a pile of backed up overload made bigger,and added sickness and extreme tiredness.

She is not the only one here who likes noise,another resident has a powerful hifi and every evening [around the time everyone else starts to quieten down] he puts his hifi on and shakes the house with the bass from it.

am always used the time everyone else settled down [turned sound down,stopped making noise etc] to recover as much strength as possible.
Am had had a lot of meltdowns,head banging and self injury before staff worked out what was causing it,they make am out to be a burden to him and see it as wanting own way and control over other residents,am got so fed up with the way am treated about something am cannot help,am 'abscond' everytime he puts his stereo on,it means am cannot be called a burden if he is not made to turn it down,am will be hidden in the usual spot,and end up meltdowning or cutting up flesh with sharp stones,glass,screws,whatever can find on the ground until am dragged in by staff team.

Am dont think bad of either residents-the lady is old and isn't able to know the noise she makes,and the male is just doing what a lot of others do,but am wish staff and in fact anyone else would understand this problem more,what they say and what they actually do are different things.

Am wish staff were able to experience the sensory difficulties that am do,just so they would then be able to understand it's not about control,being difficult or worse words than that,maybe then they would start to realise autists weren't put on this planet to burden them.

The autism specialists used to emulate all sensory difficulties during autism training with staff,but as both of them left it's mostly an untouched subject apart from Dawn giving them some training.

To quote the great Dream Theater:
"To those who understand, I extend my hand
To the doubtful I demand, take me as I am
Not under your command, I know where I stand
I won't change to fit your plan, Take me as I am"