last night had watched the autism film; the black balloon; http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0865297/ for the first time and it was very painful and difficult to watch from the start.
the character in it with autism;'charlie' is pretending to be a severely autistic teenager,was just like him as a child and adult;except was not understood and treated kindly by mum or dad until adulthood because of early wrong diagnosis [the doctors blamed mum and said because there were no signs of solid brain damage it wasnt severe autism nor any other organic condition] and their strict catholic religeon which made them feel the autism was posession by the devil for mum or dad sinning,or something like that.
had had every behavior that 'charlie' shows in the film,and still do;apart from smearing which was one of the behaviors that the intelectual disability hospital managed to wean self off of doing regulary through four months of an extreme/negative form of ABA.
'charlie' is hated by his brother,he is absolutely resented by him,even to the point his brother smashes something supposed to be loved by him [his SNES console],his brother woud try to hide the fact he is 'charlies' brother whenever anyone from his school saw them together,he truly was ashamed of his autistic brother.
this is what really pains self,as it is exactly the same experience of mine growing up with a sister who did exactly the same things as the brother, was resented by her because she felt she coud never bring her friends around into our house,she was so ashamed of her sister she woud denie she had one and woud rip and break things of mine to get back at autistic behaviors.
of course she eventualy started trying to understand when she studied degree level pyschology and there was a unit purely based on classic autism,and over the years we became like friends-like the boys in the film,but it is still very painful to think the existance of mine was resented for so long,including infant and junior school where was beaten by teachers and the head teacher every day for behaviors and difficulties that had no control over,it was a highly confusing and distressing world to be in own world and continuously brought out of it with physical abuse and rough restraint slammed onto tables or into the walls by the teachers,and to be dragged home by the wrist and get even worse treatment off dad.
had really related to the film,and feel its the best film representation of autism have ever seen; at least of the severe spectrum anyway but cant help feeling have lost childhood,not to autism but to the people who shoud have cared for self.
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label abuse. Show all posts
Monday, 12 May 2014
Monday, 25 March 2013
abuse against autistic people in care
where is the trades description actt when theyre needed? there is a care agency in america but guess what....there is no care involved,now where have we heard that before? definitely on this blog many times.
itd be more suitable to call it a abuse-and-take-advantage-of-vulnerable-adults agency but that woud be a bit of a mouthful considering they are using those to abuse the shit out of their paying clients.
want to see what am on about? have a read here-
http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/152814/hidden_cameras_catch_autistic_man
the man in question is cameron,he is an autistic man with a very limited mental and verbal capacity,he has full time support needs but is able to live in the community/his own home.
this is where jay nolan community services comes in,they are paid to support cameron have the best quality of life possible.
unfortunately that isnt what they did,they disgustingly took advantage of this mans inability to express/communicate and did everything from booting him hard over and over,beating him,spitting at him,stripping him naked and threatening him with an air gun etc,cameron lived in fear for his life every day and was not able to express it.
the parents had began to notice signs of abuse,cameron was showing fear of the staff,so the parents rigged his place with hidden cameras which finaly caught these pyschopathic pricks targeting someone who coudnt fight back on their level,absolute fucking cowards!!
the parents saw the tapes,and reported it,then the agency attempted to break into camerons house to get the tapes and destroy them.
this company needs to be brought down,and every single coward involved in the direct or indirect abuse of their clients be brought to justice.
how dare these wasters be labeled under our species,throw them out with the rest of the rubbish.
hopefuly cameron has not developed a fear/mistrust of staff as a result of this abuse, like mine; which had been caused by severe neglect, physical abuse, mental abuse,sensory abuse and sexual abuse whilst in the last residential service.
unfortunately they tried to blame the autism;saying am to low functioning to understand the reality,though they denied the autism for long enough when it suited them- because was able to turn on a computer.
honestly hope cameron gets a lot of money out of this, and it goes towards helping him build a better life for himself away from these sons of bitches.
itd be more suitable to call it a abuse-and-take-advantage-of-vulnerable-adults agency but that woud be a bit of a mouthful considering they are using those to abuse the shit out of their paying clients.
want to see what am on about? have a read here-
http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/152814/hidden_cameras_catch_autistic_man
the man in question is cameron,he is an autistic man with a very limited mental and verbal capacity,he has full time support needs but is able to live in the community/his own home.
this is where jay nolan community services comes in,they are paid to support cameron have the best quality of life possible.
unfortunately that isnt what they did,they disgustingly took advantage of this mans inability to express/communicate and did everything from booting him hard over and over,beating him,spitting at him,stripping him naked and threatening him with an air gun etc,cameron lived in fear for his life every day and was not able to express it.
the parents had began to notice signs of abuse,cameron was showing fear of the staff,so the parents rigged his place with hidden cameras which finaly caught these pyschopathic pricks targeting someone who coudnt fight back on their level,absolute fucking cowards!!
the parents saw the tapes,and reported it,then the agency attempted to break into camerons house to get the tapes and destroy them.
this company needs to be brought down,and every single coward involved in the direct or indirect abuse of their clients be brought to justice.
how dare these wasters be labeled under our species,throw them out with the rest of the rubbish.
hopefuly cameron has not developed a fear/mistrust of staff as a result of this abuse, like mine; which had been caused by severe neglect, physical abuse, mental abuse,sensory abuse and sexual abuse whilst in the last residential service.
unfortunately they tried to blame the autism;saying am to low functioning to understand the reality,though they denied the autism for long enough when it suited them- because was able to turn on a computer.
honestly hope cameron gets a lot of money out of this, and it goes towards helping him build a better life for himself away from these sons of bitches.
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
when everything isnt so RAD
this is the very first post have written in the mainstream about having reactive attachment disorder.
most people assume the following about RAD-
its only been several years since was diagnosed,had been very severely affected by it despite not having the label,most people put it down to the autism or bad behavior.
mine was probably due to the fact was severely disabled which had triggered severe depression and alcoholism in mum so didnt really know of her much apart from the rare times she was sober and the only time that dad interacted was to beat the shit out of em for behavior and difficulties he did not understand,had felt real hate for him and lacked complete attachment to both of them looking back.
the LD specialist who used to work with em was also specialised in attachment issues such as RAD and this is how it finaly became recognised,as staff here thought the disconection to humans and inability to ask others to help was going beyond severe autism.
the manager we had back then was awful in those days and he made every issue of the attachment disorder worse,such as constantly threatening to move to another place because theyre unable to help em,seeing RAD behaviors as challenging behavior,not understanding why did not trust staff and making threats all over the place to crumble the safety net of mine.
the last residential service was living with completely turned the RAD up to max because was being moved from place to place to place to place... it wasnt just because am severely autistic but it had a permenent fix on the RAD mentality to.
-almost all of their staff were very neglectful to em,was regulary left lying red raw in own piss trapped down the side of the bed all day whenever had had a seizure,many a time had been brought back from unconciousness from mouth being full of concrete having been headbanging on the wall most of the day [minus a helmet,as they refused to get services involved for one of those].
-staff woud refuse to help with basic needs that was unable to do or needed such as getting nappies,tie shoe laces [am not able to tie them as there are to many steps],they woud physicaly abuse em when being bathed so em stopped bathing all togeter.
as for nappies,untile moving here em used rolled up toilet paper which is what had always done,it didnt work well but it was better than nothing.
em need physical and constant prompting help with each step in personal care but because previous homes had neglected this had just not cleaned at all even with baby wipes and was regulary visited by kidney infections ,though because was always staying at mums at the weekend,she woud bath em there-em wore shorts in the bath because of the sensory issues with water.
throughout entire life have always refused help,even when it meant hurting or risking self,people still confuse that with militant independance and many have even gotten offended because they think its because of them.
when there was a situation of needing help,that inbuilt concept that triggered the action to go find people to help was missing,people assumed did not need help then as well and thought was a lot more able than actualy was which had led to all the problems have had here.
one of the triggers that stopped em from eating food for many years was actualy staff forgetting to make dinner but they always told staff next on that they had fed em something or other.
em wasnt having that control stripped away,though besides that it was largely an autistic issue.
whenever em used to be desperate for something,such as drink of mine; which is in a locked cubord,instead of being able to ask for it even in sign language or PECS woud try and tear the doors off-it worked a few times but got in serious trouble with the arsehole manager who thought was being deliberately challenging and not desperate & unable to ask for help.
the boots of mine were laced ones,em woud walk around with these big mountain horse steel filled yard boots [mum calls them clod hoppers] with the laces flopping about some staff who didnt know em well woud say to tie laces and when telling them am not able to they woud say am clearly able to because am able to use a computer-they ALWAYS said this whilst doing something for one of the other residents who dont have any issues with what theyre being helped with but because one of them has infantilism [he is actualy a high functioning adult when staff arent there and isnt believed to have autism by all staff,he has borderline PD ,bipolar and the UK definition of learning disability] and another is profoundly autistic but able [he even has a laptop and an ipad and can use the internet without help], they assume they cant do anything for themselves,thanks to them they enabled their learned helplessness.
the arsehole manager made the RAD so much worse by telling staff not to help and only get involved if em ask for help.
whenever em fought against his bullshit he turned around and said 'who is the pyschologist here?' he had a fucking pyschology degree! what a load of shit,one of the support staff had a pyschology degree to and sister of mine had a pyschology degree;it didnt mean they were a pyschologist.
the LD specialist em had before current one was an expert in attachment problems and that is when things finaly began to change for em,very slowly though due to the arsehole manager still being here,he made em feel so unsafe as he continuously wined about might have to be transfered to another residential placement whenever em was feeling unsafe or going through a pyschotic or severe depressive episode-he felt that was like a form of control but it just wound em up so much woud end up exploding and either fighting him or doing some serious self injuring.
after that he woud say it' proved what he was saying' or some other bullshit.
he used to say when em came in bedroom and hid away in the wetroom of mine,that was trying to take staff away from the other residents-despite the fact no staff are for specific residents,and the fact woud go in the wetroom to isolate self in a small space which was more comfortable,em was catatonic and severely depressed in those days and he treated em like shit which made em even more suicidal and reach for something to strangle the carotid artery with but he even woud shout about that been attention seeking.
em was isolating self away from everyone at that time and em actualy hated the human race because of him.
em have no attachment to humans whatsoever-way beyond the effects of severe autism and will always put animals and even insects first.
he got sacked eventualy because he was the power of attorney of mine and ended up not paying many care bills for over a year if remember correctly,
em was in a lot of debt because of him,was actualy left with no money every week for a long time to pay it off when staff said it shoud have been him who paid it off.
his sacking has helped em get so much better in terms of the RAD.
am now able to get certain staff for help,people understand needs a lot better because am not hiding away from them anymore.
so yes,this is lifelong attachment disorder,all the chickens of mine have it, they cant seem to unattach themselves from porridge.
most people assume the following about RAD-
- its only a disorder involving kids who have been through adoption/childrens homes etc.
- like autism,ADHD and all those other good fur nothing fly by night disorders;it magicaly disapears in adult hood [they assume that as theres bugger all research on how it affects us as adults].
its only been several years since was diagnosed,had been very severely affected by it despite not having the label,most people put it down to the autism or bad behavior.
mine was probably due to the fact was severely disabled which had triggered severe depression and alcoholism in mum so didnt really know of her much apart from the rare times she was sober and the only time that dad interacted was to beat the shit out of em for behavior and difficulties he did not understand,had felt real hate for him and lacked complete attachment to both of them looking back.
the LD specialist who used to work with em was also specialised in attachment issues such as RAD and this is how it finaly became recognised,as staff here thought the disconection to humans and inability to ask others to help was going beyond severe autism.
the manager we had back then was awful in those days and he made every issue of the attachment disorder worse,such as constantly threatening to move to another place because theyre unable to help em,seeing RAD behaviors as challenging behavior,not understanding why did not trust staff and making threats all over the place to crumble the safety net of mine.
the last residential service was living with completely turned the RAD up to max because was being moved from place to place to place to place... it wasnt just because am severely autistic but it had a permenent fix on the RAD mentality to.
-almost all of their staff were very neglectful to em,was regulary left lying red raw in own piss trapped down the side of the bed all day whenever had had a seizure,many a time had been brought back from unconciousness from mouth being full of concrete having been headbanging on the wall most of the day [minus a helmet,as they refused to get services involved for one of those].
-staff woud refuse to help with basic needs that was unable to do or needed such as getting nappies,tie shoe laces [am not able to tie them as there are to many steps],they woud physicaly abuse em when being bathed so em stopped bathing all togeter.
as for nappies,untile moving here em used rolled up toilet paper which is what had always done,it didnt work well but it was better than nothing.
em need physical and constant prompting help with each step in personal care but because previous homes had neglected this had just not cleaned at all even with baby wipes and was regulary visited by kidney infections ,though because was always staying at mums at the weekend,she woud bath em there-em wore shorts in the bath because of the sensory issues with water.
throughout entire life have always refused help,even when it meant hurting or risking self,people still confuse that with militant independance and many have even gotten offended because they think its because of them.
when there was a situation of needing help,that inbuilt concept that triggered the action to go find people to help was missing,people assumed did not need help then as well and thought was a lot more able than actualy was which had led to all the problems have had here.
one of the triggers that stopped em from eating food for many years was actualy staff forgetting to make dinner but they always told staff next on that they had fed em something or other.
em wasnt having that control stripped away,though besides that it was largely an autistic issue.
whenever em used to be desperate for something,such as drink of mine; which is in a locked cubord,instead of being able to ask for it even in sign language or PECS woud try and tear the doors off-it worked a few times but got in serious trouble with the arsehole manager who thought was being deliberately challenging and not desperate & unable to ask for help.
the boots of mine were laced ones,em woud walk around with these big mountain horse steel filled yard boots [mum calls them clod hoppers] with the laces flopping about some staff who didnt know em well woud say to tie laces and when telling them am not able to they woud say am clearly able to because am able to use a computer-they ALWAYS said this whilst doing something for one of the other residents who dont have any issues with what theyre being helped with but because one of them has infantilism [he is actualy a high functioning adult when staff arent there and isnt believed to have autism by all staff,he has borderline PD ,bipolar and the UK definition of learning disability] and another is profoundly autistic but able [he even has a laptop and an ipad and can use the internet without help], they assume they cant do anything for themselves,thanks to them they enabled their learned helplessness.
the arsehole manager made the RAD so much worse by telling staff not to help and only get involved if em ask for help.
whenever em fought against his bullshit he turned around and said 'who is the pyschologist here?' he had a fucking pyschology degree! what a load of shit,one of the support staff had a pyschology degree to and sister of mine had a pyschology degree;it didnt mean they were a pyschologist.
the LD specialist em had before current one was an expert in attachment problems and that is when things finaly began to change for em,very slowly though due to the arsehole manager still being here,he made em feel so unsafe as he continuously wined about might have to be transfered to another residential placement whenever em was feeling unsafe or going through a pyschotic or severe depressive episode-he felt that was like a form of control but it just wound em up so much woud end up exploding and either fighting him or doing some serious self injuring.
after that he woud say it' proved what he was saying' or some other bullshit.
he used to say when em came in bedroom and hid away in the wetroom of mine,that was trying to take staff away from the other residents-despite the fact no staff are for specific residents,and the fact woud go in the wetroom to isolate self in a small space which was more comfortable,em was catatonic and severely depressed in those days and he treated em like shit which made em even more suicidal and reach for something to strangle the carotid artery with but he even woud shout about that been attention seeking.
em was isolating self away from everyone at that time and em actualy hated the human race because of him.
em have no attachment to humans whatsoever-way beyond the effects of severe autism and will always put animals and even insects first.
he got sacked eventualy because he was the power of attorney of mine and ended up not paying many care bills for over a year if remember correctly,
em was in a lot of debt because of him,was actualy left with no money every week for a long time to pay it off when staff said it shoud have been him who paid it off.
his sacking has helped em get so much better in terms of the RAD.
am now able to get certain staff for help,people understand needs a lot better because am not hiding away from them anymore.
so yes,this is lifelong attachment disorder,all the chickens of mine have it, they cant seem to unattach themselves from porridge.
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