shit has gone down,big time in the past several weeks.
since the last post on surviving hospital,a lot has happened.
last sunday was a real low point.
was feeling utterly terrible,in so much pain and torture from having been completely removed from codeine without any tapered withdrawal.
was already ill with the health issues was facing but now with the codeine withdrawal was violently sick unable to hold down food or fluid,in far worse pain than ever,suffering from severe spastic spasms all over entire body and unretractable epileptic seizures,inability to control body temperature,acute diorreah etc.
was waiting to be picked up by staff to go home,and dad had got up to answer the door to them so had seen that he forgot he left the paracetemol out of the locked safe and had took almost the entire box full [bar one sheet] .
thinking was; am in so much agony am either wanting to disapear or get something done about it.
ended up in hospital once more,they did blood tests but refused to give any medication for the pain nor withdrawal symptoms because of the ridiculous decision of this consultant to completely remove codeine,they did not want to go against his decision even though had never met him before and he had ignored the legaly binding withdrawal plan we had in place already.
luckily did not need charcoal treatment or the drug reversal agent, and was eventualy sent out, still in absolute fucking agony,but now even more mentaly unwell because of how desperate the situation was getting.
that evening had ended up being violently sick and screaming in pain,and by night time was begging for an ambulance which as people know-is something woud never do so am clearly in such distress to be asking for it,ended up being taken to the same hospital as earlier in the day but luckily it was the night shift doctors on at this time and had been given the best doctor of them all.
he went through all the scan results from the last hospital and spent a while with em going over health history; it turned out that am not actualy suffering from codeine having been eroding away at stomach/bowel; it turned out to be lifelong severe crohns disease-have got to have the old camera up arse test to confirm it, he suspected was possibly suffering from a stomach ulcer to,was given IV buscopan first,which isnt a good painkiller it is an anti spasmodic drug which works well for muscular pain;it didnt work and only made heart beat dangerously fast which hurt heart a lot and felt sicker;then codeine which because of the pain having been left for so long did not work very well,and finaly was given IV morphine with an IV anti emetic because of the nausea was suffering from.
this guy was a fucking legend am so greatful to him for listening.
was transfered to the medical assessment ward which was like a shanty town and full of old people with alzheimers,it was so noisy,awful and mainly ran by agency workers who didnt give a shit about the job,loads of vulnerable old people were just neglected,am the lucky one as have always got staff with self.
it was completely autism unfriendly and a nurse who was assigned to was very horrible and impatient despite mentioning she had a nephew with severe autism to.
was seized up screaming in crippling pain begging for painkillers over and over,and they kept saying they will ask the doctor later and see if they change their mind about giving codeine but they dont want to at the moment because of the overdose-had not taken any codeine and the final blood test after the overdose showed no damage so the OD was no excuse,the severe bowel and digestion problems go back to baby age to;and was not taking codeine then,they were just making up excuses so they dont get legaly held responsible for prescribing it to someone who is labeled a safeguarded adult.
sister came into visit,and she was well fucked off at the state was left in,she gave the consultants a good talking to but they still did not want to override this other doctors opinion on completely stopping the codeine.
they finaly said they woud give painkillers,so was overjoyed,but then they came in the room with them; paracetemol or buscopan tablets! a choice of a tablet which is for mild pain and doesnt work for mine or a useless drug which get a dangerously fast bloody painful heart rate on.
was shouted at by the nurse for being ungrateful and making their job more difficult,felt like knocking their heads in because they didnt give a shit was in so much pain and suffering from the health issues and the withdrawal symptoms.
was about to attempt suicide one night by jumping through a window and slitting throat on the glass when the constant buzzing for a doctor finaly ended up with one coming, she like all the other doctors said she doesnt want to prescribe any form of codeine whatsoever because of dependency and not wanting to override the other consultants words,so again... was left in a state; she over heard all this when she left the room and came back,and then started to consider the circumstances of mine; ie, the impact its had on autism,mental health,behavior etc. she completely disagreed with how the consultant went about this,she said shoud never have been taken off them like that especialy as we already had a withdrawal plan in place, and although she woudnt prescribe any there and then she gave her support for going back on them providing she got to speak to the pyschiatrist and GP of mine who both came up with the plan.
was left suffering from unretractable seizures all night and she woudnt prescribe a form of vallium to stop them despite the fact am normaly semi often prescribed temazepam and lorazepam for both unretractable/status epilepsy and autism behaviors,she said she needed to get the GPs permision- all because am a safe guarded adult and have a limited mental capacity so require best interest decisions.
she said she was going to phone the pysch and gp as soon as it was work hours to get permission but she must have forgoten because the next consultant who came on shift hadnt a clue what had been said that night and said he isnt going to give his support for going back on codeine to allow for proper withdrawal nor vallium for the unstoppable seizures,was pissed off to say the least.
however,the problem seems to have been that it wasnt properly handed over to him so he wasnt aware of what was said,and after much discussion he said he woud leave the decision up to the both the pyschiatrist and the GP because am known best by them and they understand how am affected by this and circumstances involved,he wrote us up a letter to take to the gp showing his support for codeine use, and was then discharged from the hospital with the diagnosis of acute longer term gastro enteritis, but not long after getting back, was puking violently and had very bad diorreah.
the spastic spasms were ripping through entire body and was also suffering from multiple types of unretractable epilepsy.
was continuously going boiling hot one moment then freezing cold the next,was halucinating like crazy, was hurting all over due to the spasms and seizures.
it got to night time when was very suicidal and the aproaching plan for suicide was looking ever a relief, was begging to be taken to hospital again but aparently doctors had told staff that if am taken there again will not be allowed in if its because of the same problems,as they felt they coudnt do anything else with the stupid dick head consultants ban on all codeine products.
so had then begged to be taken to the pysch ward as was going to suicide if they didnt; that wasnt a threat it was just a statement becuase was so desperate and in pain.
by late night they phoned NHS direct because of the severe sickness was having and eventualy there was some light.
the doctor at first refused to prescribe any anti emetics because again.... am a safeguarded adult,but when she heard the issues that had gone on and the fact was going to suicide if did not get help [again this wasnt a threat to get own way it was just a statement of desperation] she decided to prescribe a drug,it turned out to be a life saver.
the drug is prochlorperazine maleate [buccastem M form] :
its an typical anti pyschotic which also works effectively as an anti emetic [anti vomiting] drug,its highly potent stuff and has had a great effect on mental stability,woud not be here if it wasnt for this drug.
its only for short term use am on it,am probably coming up to the last one,but its been so helpful and woud recommend it to anyone who is suffering from medication withdrawal.
the next day,the GP finaly sorted out the codeine,but because of the impact from the consultant he has only given four a day for two weeks then two a day for two weeks then none.
am going to fight it because these painkillers are all that stands between self and the agonising suicide causing pain of trigeminal neuralgia which have had since nineteen years old and to take these away without sorting the TN out once and for all woud be barbaric.
most doctors who havent been scared to speak out have said what a fuck up this consultant has made.
he has caused a huge impact on life,permenent damage.
being seen in such suffering and the suicide attempt has affected mum greatly, the suicide attempt has also landed mum and dad in trouble with social services because theyre being blamed by the social services safe guarding team for leaving the pack of paracetemol at the side whilst answering the door, theyre pensioners and dad has a crappy short term memory, not his fault.
am also never allowed to stay at home ever again because the safe guarding team say its unsafe, am devastated,have stayed at mums and dads every weekend since being moved out of the home a decade ago.
the gp has prescribed lorazepam for this weekend from friday night onwards to be able to deal with the change,very greatful for it had the first one tonight.
yesterday the pyschiatrist of mine came to visit and he also upped the respiridone and added on an extra one for the evening.
am in an absolute mess over all of this-mentaly and physicaly,am still suffering from the withdrawals and all the seizures had suffered have had a big effect on brain and body,am looking into taking legal action to.
it is incredible how litle rights those of us who are classed as safe guarded have,no one wants to do anything for us incase they do anything 'wrong'.
have lost all trust in the medical profesion-this consultant has put a level of hatred onto them that woud never have imagined having.
the only medical people that like ever again are the ld pyschiatrist and ld pyschologists of mine,the doctor in accident and emergency who saw the pain and didnt refuse to treat it,and the cousin of mine who a great hospital doctor.