Sunday, 29 September 2013

an autism endorsed cat lovers thread

cats are probably the most celebrated thing besides trains by autistic people,and being one of those crazy cat ladies have taken it upon self to make a list of the best famous kittehs incase anyone hasnt come across them yet.

all of these are favourites of mine,and have got them liked/on the facebook news feed to keep updated on them,unfortunately scarlett was PTS having developed cancer from carcinogens in a now banned cat food a while ago though but her incredible legacy still goes on.

have fun 'liking' them all on facebook!

scarlett; the heroic cat who got badly burned whilst saving her kittens one by one from a burning building;

chase;no face, a cat that had his face skin ripped off as a kitten in a car accident,and that now works as an advocat in disability

colonel meow:

justin;fire survivor,a cat that got set on fire by a scumbag of a humanbeing

lil bub,a cat that looks photoshopped due to their unusual looks but is actualy disabled

corky,a cat that suffers with a unusual severe physical disability

grumpy cat:

hamilton; the hipster cat

spangles; the cross eyed cat

anakin;a cat born without a pelvis or rear legs

shorty; a cat with dwarfism

the little kitty that coud, a cat that was born blind and has a severe physical disability in her rear legs

sam has eye brows

Wednesday, 25 September 2013

the barriers to getting support for hearing voices

am hoping to start going along to the support group run by the hearing voices network to hear about others who have issues with voices because its difficult to cope with people who keep saying am imagining it/telling em they arent there,but have come across a pretty disablist snag already before even getting there.

because am 'two to one' aka have two support staff when out in the community,the HVN groups are saying it woud be wrong for support staff to attend in the room for confidentiality reasons,however they have to be around self at all times,we are meeting to discuss this issue to see if it can be worked around tomorow.
this is why we need a group especialy for disabled people who woudnt think twice about someone attending with carers.

Sunday, 22 September 2013

chicken therapy

believe it or not,but it exists,and am not talking about mine.

recently,had began going out for walks [or rolls in ems case] with staffs localy,and had come across a huge garden next to a house full of chickens free ranging.
one day had walked past,heard baby chick noises and echolalicaly began repeating them back not realising the sound was doing...suddenly many,many chicks came running over the hill with two hens closely followed behind them it looked like a war time battle,its the first time had ever seen chicks free ranging.

being the chicken obsessed sort,and thinking these were abandoned/not looked after [we are in a bit of a shit tip of a village after all] had started bringing along some posh chicken pellets of mine to feed them and had soon built up a relationship with them,was even been followed around by a ginger little chuck [everyone says she might think we are related,being ginger an all,lol].
then,one day; a lady said not to give them the pellets because they were already on a balanced diet...she realised am chicken crazy given was treating her birds better than anyone and was wearing a t shirt with a cockerel on and a special needs adult bib made out of chicken fabric- she got talking to staff about what exactly she does,she realised which residential home was from without staff having to mention a word,and without further delay she mentioned the project she runs.
well bird therapy to be exact,-for disabled people,its not just chickens she keeps,all sorts of exotics to.

she asked if woud like to come down for therapy-was flapping and sqwarking more than those hens.
staff also asked if em was allowed to come and help her with cleaning them,and she agreed to it once we get all the formal stuff out the way.
how amazing is that? was only saying last week that why has no one invented a chicken therapy service,every autistic who thinks cats are the best therapy shoud try chickens to.
the photos arent great but here are some taken of the chucks on a staffs phone-

farming IRL

went to the farm today with mum and two support staff,fed and watered all the chuck chucks, padded out the coop of the two tiny bantam parents who have just had a chick and tickled the cat of mine; princess plus gave her lots of chin and head rubs to the point she was dribbling all over the place,got some photos as well because have not seen her around the place for a while and have been worried about the little madam....apologies as they seem to be cat porn shots of princesses crotch.

Saturday, 21 September 2013

new car ordered

the new motability car is ordered completely now,we got all the forms sorted out and it shoud be arriving in two weeks.
its got tinted windows,heated seats,parking sensors,air con etc. beats the crap out of the old motability car of mine;a citroen nemo multispace.
got some photos of it in the exact colour am getting it in as well-

Wednesday, 18 September 2013

a random day

though earlier on was awful,due to being attacked by a resident then feeling like he was going to do it any moment again, as well as severe sensory overload from several residents.
after we got out though had a great day today.
ordered the new motability car; a one point six vauxhall zafira design,it is in 'atomic grey' colour which is like a dirty grey;its very nice.

then we went to the trafford centre, instead of being a selfish git and getting a neros coffee, had decided to buy orla; one of the nieces of mine a present,in the two plus years she has been here have never been able to afford to buy her a present and kids hate any relatives that dont buy them stuff so had bought orla a 'something special' sticker book,and a disney baking series magazine which comes with some free mickey mouse and winey the poo cookie/cake making accessories, the sister loves baking all the time so had decided to throw this in as a present as well as orla loves disney and woud love some mickey mouse cookies if not other forms of baking used in it [if sister whinged about it not being healthy enough] or she coud even use it as a tool for shaping bread to make it more interesting for orla.

also found out about a new grant, am going to be applying to it for a new sports wheelchair as am desperate to take up sports,impossible to do that with normal wheels.

 ^the presents for orla

Friday, 13 September 2013

becoming an interviewer

am doing an important job today with the help of alternative communication.

theres a outreach service manager job going in the severe/profound autism & residential organisation am living under and being very knowledgeable of autism have been asked to be part of the interview team.
its a group interview,which according to support staff of mine is the worst kind,so it will be interesting to see how they cope because they will need to cope with stress with the job theyre going for.
have already got own questions typed out,itll be pretty cool if they learn anything new about autism & learning disability as well,nothing worse than having a manager who knows fuck all about us apart from very stereotypical and limited presentations of autism which tends to be the case.

have done it before once.

a chicken flavoured week

 this week has been a very chicken themed week for self, firstly on tuesday had to bring kanner, this handsome cuckoo maran fella [a very old photo]named after leo kanner-

to the vets,theres only one in the whole of the north of england that allows chickens in and am lucky we are near it,the ark vets in cheshire.
he has killed seven hens in his field including the beloved seven year old henny of mine because his beak was ultra sharp so he needed debeaking, its a painless procedure-the beak is like the nails on humans,it just involves taking the sharp edge of but giving them a point for normal pecking.
it was funny getting him into the cat box head first with people in the vets wondering what that big feathery ass hanging out the grill on the cage was,he wasnt pleased....but a few roasted meal worms later and all was forgiven.

next,had managed to hold dexter; the only surviving japanese cochin cockerel of mine after the chicken kidnapping in june,and to be able to be able to catch him is somewhat of a feat,he has lost a load of weight since living at the farm as the chickens needs seem to be a bit neglected by the animal staff there so am hoping to go a lot more to look after them but its a petrol/money issue that gets in the way.

 -em in a sensory feedback trance from stroking dexters huge wattles.

 and then there was temple-or mrs templeton to her friends.
the poor lady is doing her once a year moulting at the moment,which means they look like theyve been dragged through a huge bush backwards and they dont lay eggs during this stage,temple being the broody sort was missing her eggs and even tried to hatch the fake ones had bought for her from chelford farm supplies.
so to cheer her up,had got a spade and began a search for worms in the raised plant boxes-worms being her most favourite thing in the world,she helped by supervising the work perched on top of neck,which made things a bit difficult must say.
there were many clinicaly obese juicy worms to be found,the other girls only managed to get the short skinny ones before temple coud get her beak in and snatch them away.

Monday, 9 September 2013

socializing with the local scumbags

had to laugh,was out with two support staff walking [AKA rolling along,in the wheelie] in the local community [AKA one hell of a shit tip] as was in need of some coca cola and the mother had very generously donated some cash today.

firstly we were turning down the road where the store was on, and a random gaggle of teenagers kept shouting 'HIYA.....HIYA....HEY...HIYA'.

next,we got to the store and another gaggle of teens shouted 'OI RETARD'... being of the sticky-up-for-self sort,had gone into fight or flight mode but was unable to walk at the time,and then was told the store was closing soon which became of more importance than giving a little shit of a teenager a thrashing,plus to be fair it woudnt have been a good result if had done it because we were right opposite the local cop shop. :P

anyway,RETARD- one [got two packs of coca cola cans,bag of crisps and some milky way choc], LOCAL JUNKIES TO BE- zero.

learning disability activism

most people who read this blog know am learning disabled [the UK definition for what america calls intelectual disability],and probably to a lesser level know am involved in learning disability and autism activism-online and offline.

due to all the stuff thats gone on recently,it has stopped some projects of mine from happening but am begining to start them finaly.
project A is making a group of pictorial based easy read books for people with learning disability especialy; based on tasks that they may face in their life; or things they may want to do but theres no adapted information for them.

project B is pretty damn awesome-being a quality checker of busineses in terms of how they acomodate autism and learning disability; particulary to those of us with more severe or profound needs/difficulties.
am going to be making a set of questions and going to businesses/places and questioning them on it to see firstly what they woud do to accomodate customers with autism and/or LD,and also their understanding of autism and/or LD,plus hopefuly leave them some information on each disability to show how much they vary between us all.
--if anyone has got any good questions they woud like adding to the list,please comment.
we will give feedback back to the businesses on any improvements we can suggest and with their consent am going to be making a online database of all the businesses who are what we can definitely call autism and learning disability friendly-this is so parents,carers etc can safely know where to take their child/service user,or where individuals themselves can choose to go safe in the knowledge theyre not going to have access issues.

project C is going to be a activism and self empowerment group for people with autism [of any form or severity] and/or LD,the idea will be for people to get things off their minds,know they got someone listening to them and maybe find ways to solve it within the group;a form of support in a way.

for the symbols am using a board maker type program called picto selector-its free and has been going for years but having being a linux only user up until a month or so ago when needed the new laptop; had never had the oportunity to use it, have spoken to the developer about how much am benefiting from his program and he said he will always keep it free;hes a top gent.
will do a review on it some time soon.

new motability car on the way

am currently waiting for the new motability car,its not been ordered yet due to manager/power of attorney being so damn offensive and fucking off on holiday instead of slaving away at our place.
being in residential care theres extra forms and stuff that need doing and we are already past the date of renewal,luckily motability dont take the car back till getting the new one.

am getting a 2013 vauxhall zafira design which has tinted windows , motability online says its a one point four engine; motability guy in the vauxhall garage says its a one point six,so am not sure who to believe,a one point four woud be better for petrols sake.
have got a choice between diesel and petrol this time,cant wait to get it,it looked awesome in the show room.

Saturday, 7 September 2013

what is the fucking point

in the past several months,it really hasnt been no order due to shitty memory-an overdose which landed self in a noisy hospital and affected mum a lot....a week in agony;in hospital with undiagnosed severe crohns disease that was strongly suspected by a doctor [still needing to go to outpatients to get it confirmed]-in that same week,despite already being on a withdrawal plan that had been decided by the gp and pysch of mine;without any form of medication or support was completely removed from all forms of codeine that was used to control the overflow pain of trigeminal neuralgia,cluster headaches and sensory overload and the lifelong daily head banging.

and then there was the acute withdrawal symptoms that woud not wish on worst enemy,plus the status and unretractable epileptic seizures that were no doubt caused by stress from being met head on by complete codeine withdrawal-not just the fact am medicaly dependant on them but also the autistic side of it to,no consultants agreed with it and thought it was ridiculous but they woudnt override it because it was a fellow staff of theirs and am under the mental capacity act AKA of limited mental capacity and require best interest decisions.

PLUS....the severe challenging behavior that landed em in hospital under one of the mental health acts,PLUS the destroyal of one room in our residential centre-waking up from a severe headbanging and seizure session;surrounded by devastation and ten police officers,two support staff,a paramedic team and no partridge in a pear tree.
PLUS the constant acute state of severe anxiety and unstable pyschosis am now living in,as a result of all these changes and unpredictibility.

PLUS everyone here,the learning disability team and the safe guarding team saying am not allowed to stay at mums and dads anymore;a routine have had every single weekend for the past decade since being moved out of their home.

the challenging behavior hospitalization ended in several options- a mental health unit, a acute high security unit for learning disability, and the learning disability institution that used to live in as aparently it had been reopened as a respite unit.
they had said after considering all circumstances the acute LD unit was best but it was also quite far away from anyone in family for them to visit on public transport,the other option was to give two day staff and two waking night staff just for em,plus diazepam and zopiclone to help with settling back in.
unfortunately the zopiclone sedative is long gone and the diazepam is already being reduced which is making the anxiety flare wildly and no doubt is behind the voices and pyschosis bollox.
it was the best decision but am very very bothered about having any incidents that result in the possibility of being moved from here permenently because am already feeling on high alert from all the unpredictibility and dont need to be given that higher level of unpredictibility nor the pressure to avoid doing behaviors and hearing voices am not in control of by people who am not understood by well.

it feels like am being hated really badly for hurting other residents,even though have not actualy hurt any residents-was actualy hurt more by them than the other way around,its just people believe what they want to believe.
will never forgive self for hurting staff and dont need fucking reminding because own brain does that every day!

am so fed up of being made to feel like any behavior and incident of mine may be what causes a transfer to a new residential home when there has been residents with profound autism with profoundly challenging behavior who have totaly trashed whole buildings and sent many a individual to hospital who never got moved until many years later when OFSTED get involved,to self it feels like am being singled out.

was also told if do not clean out the chickens coop every day they are going to be moved to the farm [where they do not get looked after] absolute blackmail,had ended up cutting self after hearing this today and the rest of what have written, they know the sort of unstable motivation lacking state am in and need a lot of support at the moment and using this as an excuse to remove the animals that have never liked and never hidden bias from is really low,it hurts self to feel someone is wanting to remove the best friends of mine,to self its exactly on the same level as them saying theyre going to get rid of parents.

am fed up of fucking life.just what is the fucking point.

breaking down 'barriers'

thanks to a certain individual at the trafford learning disability team [and a lot more of the team and our home staff besides her]; had actualy overcome a barrier that is no less than thirteen years old.

today,had actualy gone to the trafford centre,in manchester,not just gone to it-but gone in it shock horror.
and not just gone in there, but sat and had a coffee.
it helped that had had a diazepam just before we went and have still not recovered hearing properly from the recent bad head injury which blocked a lot of the noise out but jesus christ had actualy got over a thirteen year old barrier!!!
am also thankful to the south paw deep pressure vest am wearing,when am in the wheelchair its used as both a deep pressure vest and a harness at the moment as we are trying to get funding sorted out for the crelling harness first.

the last time had gone in there,had only just got in the door way,was wearing earplugs,ear defenders and a hood over the top, was linking arms with sister and dad,sisters husband/bro in law was there and mum to,it was a difficult and painful challenge but still forced self.

all of a sudden the red coat security guys pounced and came between self/em and family; had began to self injury [ie,head bang,bite and hit self],family had said am disabled and thats the reason why am wearing the hood over the ear defenders otherwise woud not be able to come in,the red coats said to us am not allowed in with hood up because everyone has to have their face seen by the security cameras and if continue to leave it up will be escorted off the premises,but during this power crazy rant of theirs;a group of muslim women walked right past us in their cultural clothing-the type that covers from head to toe and has a little slit for the eyes,the red coats didnt give a damn at all-despite telling us the security camera HAS to see every persons face,so why were they ok and not someone with severe complex disabilities?  they tried to grab hold of em to escort out the door in between self and family but the less said about the end result of that;the better.

unfortunately had not understood what disability discrimination was at the time so did not know what they did was exactly so so wrong,but had felt very hatred of them and never wanted to go again, so it wasnt just the fact that the progressing hyperacusis made it inaccessible but also the disablist treatment from the trafford centre as well.

thirteen odd [probably less than that,but it was one persons guess] years on had felt the same loathing for the staff, if they had said a word about the padded helmet was wearing it woudnt have just been a fuss was kicking!

here are some photos for anyone interested,am sticking them up as a visual reminder self;as is the purpose of any photos on here especialy-

was laughing and pointing at the girl to the awesome activities support worker who is stood next to self in photo as thought the girl was going to fall in.

                  having a stimmy moment,feeling awesome for actualy getting in the trafford centre.

being autistic and a pica eater is a double challenge,am using a wooden coffee stirer from neros coffee shop for both sensory seeking and pica reasons,was unaware was being photographed here as was busy getting down to it,after the shot was taken it was grabbed out of mouth before coud swallow. :P