Sunday, 2 December 2012

new medication and mental health woes

had a visit from the ld services pyschiatrist last week,he is adding on another cymbalta pill but says he wont add any more circadin [the only form of melatonin licenced in the UK and only for certain groups; over fifties due to melatonin getting less and autistics/learning disabled due to our lifelong lack of melatonin] -am on tew mg of circadin and he said because the doseage originaly worked adding more wont do any good,he said need to take a break from the circadin for a month and then restart because body has got used to it,however one of the teenagers who used to live here was on a shit ton of melatonin,they just added another everytime his body got used to it.

staff said circadin is probably a stronger strength to normal melatonin,havent got a clue dont understand the scientific stuff about it on the wikiepedia-anyone else know if its exactly the same as over the counter melatonin,or stronger?

from tomorow am starting on the extra cymbalta and starting the month break from circadin.

however the pysch still has never understood the pyschosis which varies all over the place in severity and awareness,he kept saying it was due to level of autism and lacking understanding and communication to say whats going on and the pyschosis symptoms was the minds way of getting it out,however em dont think its fair that have had to live for several years[?] now in fear of cameras in the walls and ceiling,believing staff and family are not who they say they are and are here to harm em,seeing gigantic spiders fall on self and feeling the crawling all over skin,and when very severe had no aware of the pyschosis being pyschosis at all;it was reality to self,was attacking support staff,barricading self inside room,trying to smash way out of the building etc,nearly ended up sectioned.

it really isnt fair that because am under the legal authority of others and in residential care am not able to be prescribed medication in the same way someone who was not autistic and learning/intelectualy disabled and lived in the community woud have been given medication to help their pyschosis,people who live in the community and are high functioning do not have every mental health issue of theirs turned into an expression of their communication difficulties and thus pointless to medicate.

it also doesnt help that the previous manager here,who was sacked for fucking money of mine up for over a year [am still in debt as they never managed to get them wrote off] was an absolute arsehole when it came to understanding the mental health issues of mine because he had a pyschology degree and said he was a pyschologist, he woud say things like am not suicidal because he has known many suicidal people and they do this/dont do that,he assumed pyschosis is always at the same severity and we never have awareness, if it wasnt for world mental health day last year [or year before?] and sister promoting her counsiling up at a world mental health day dropin near our end she woud never have called around and found em catatonic with severe major depressive disorder and pyschosis,had actualy had a gp appointment made many times but this manager woud cancel it every time so he coud do something non urgent for other service users because em require two to one support for appointment stuff.

sister forced them to rebook it that day and was diagnosed but had already stolen a load of tablets and was going to take them because was in so much head pain was at point ,when we got back the manager looked at sister,she told him what had been diagnosed with,gave him the medications and walked off without saying one word,the nobhead didnt like being wrong.

because that manager was in authority of em,and because he was deluded to believe he was a pyschologist with a pyschology degree-he gave the pyschiatrist his opinion disguised as the reality of mine,what symptoms em had etc,no notes of mine have ever included anything about the pyschosis because he believed em had watched a tv program with spiderss in and that that had caused halucinations,he said people who hate spiders often think theyre seeing them; only thing is em love spiders.

this is where the problem lies,all pysch notes of mine given by that manager feature only his opinion and nothing about pyschosis as he didnt believe it,so the pyschiatrist said that none of the notes suggest its pyschosis on friday,the manager had even told him em looked it up on wikipedia and diagnosed self with it and the pysch mentioned it-am diagnosed with it by a doctor and woud never self diagnose.

am sorry for making such a long post,but does anyone out there know how em woud be able to get help with the pyschosis?

the gp had seen who originaly diagnosed it had specialised in MH stuff but was unable to prescribe any medications for it until getting the word off the pyschiatrist.

apart from key worker who is the only person who has been supportive with this,they always assume just because em dont tell them have had halucinations or have not made it clear to others am seeing cameras or thinking theyre people sent to harm em-that am not having the symptoms,but when em did have the awareness to tell them, they woud shrug it off and it makes it feel like they think its not happening or they dont care.

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