time travel with seizures

have worked this one out-the past few weeks feel like theyve disapeared and am back at mums at the weekend again,due to the amount of seizures am having,so time travel really exists or so it seems.

during riding this week,was having a long pattern of abscence seizures throughout the whole lesson,the instructor [who is one of the people am led by] got a steel toe cap up his bum as he bent down to put a mini block jump up with jasmine still plodding on-he didnt realise had just skipped time.
have been having bad ones every day throughout the day very recently,and yesterday they called an ambulance as GP does not do out of hours for some reason,we were expecting some emergency eppie pills whilst waiting for the neuro appointment to come up to sort meds out,as already get prescribed diazepam for noise anyway but the gp was rubbish and the paramedics just tried to encourage to go to hospital with them,was out of it for most of it,as if was on a different speed to everyone else,didnt even notice when they stuck the temperature thingy in ear-which makes a loud beep-that woud usually trigger a meltdown if was in a normal state.

they then said they think part of the reason the seizures have got worse,is because am not on any food at all,and have been refusing the ensures for a long while,they said that liquid food like ensure and solid food helps the medication go through body,or something like that-and without any type of food at all,its stopping the medication from working.
have to admit,they coud be telling the truth,and not just trying to encourage taking the ensures like everyone else,but have noticed recently am getting more TN attacks [a fault in the face nerve]-which is part of the reason am on tegretol.
so have managaed to have some of a bottle of ensure last night,had some of this mornings and evenings,and a little of tonights.

they also said am not drinking enough,though that isnt controlled- when feeling the before-seizure signs do not like to drink.

was completely knackered today,and worn out and for the first time ever? had lay in bed during the day-have never done this usually [unless have been severely sick but cant remember last time] as lying in bed is night time routine for self.
had a few seizures today-but only the bad one tonight-just after had had night time medication-this one has left head dented,and it took a while to unstiffen arms and legs,hand is still difficult to use now,and it feels like whiplash in neck,matress has been moved to floor since yesterday so was lucky.

the gp had been phoned today,as he was supposed to come out today,but they said they cannot do anything until the neuro appointment,apart from prescribe supositories of diazepam,fuck that-have had them when younger and woudnt wish them on anyone.

so hoping the little ensure will help cut them down a bit at least,and hope wont be as knackered tomorrow,or seizuring so can at least go out,dont think had cared less about it today with the wya was feeling though.