the imbalance of respect in the autistic community

there is a imbalance in the online autistic community,and those who are active on wrongplanet will know the opinion of mine on this.

am talking about how those of us under the 'low functioning' spectrum do not have our voices heard enough without others butting in and thinking they speak what we think,plus the divisive,bigoted and at times elitist nature of an autistic community that is naturaly biased towards the high functioning.

this imbalance comes from the fact most in the low spectrum either have always been assumed to be NON functioning and have never been taught how to use a computer OR do not have the mental capacity to communicate language across well enough to use forums,which means the majority of online autistics are high functioning.
so that answers why our views are undersupported in the autistic community,but not why our fellow HFA brothers and sisters are unable to defend us like they defend each other.

lets take that majority group and examine the issue further, why are so many amongst HFAs totaly against the idea of an autism cure and say of the whole autistic spectrum;we are autistic; not a disease,we dont need curing we need support and understanding....BUT,those of us who are low functioning have no qualities,are non functioning and need curing?

why is it a high functioning autist understands that HFA is a HUGE spectrum within itself and all aspies differ in their autistic quality of life plus vary in the size of their support team, but cannot apply that same thinking to LFA?
why is it WE are assumed to be automaticaly in need of a cure? why do so many aspies and parents of autistic children think we are suffering terribly because they apply how they woud deal with our lives and obviously come out with a negative interpretation?
we have different expectations and wants/needs in life compared to HFAs or NTs but that doesnt make our life inferior-it just makes us different.
yes-there are so many things we really coud do with better help with;that dont require kicking an MP up the arse to get any funding to get there,but a cure doesnt help that-its having the autism and autistic communities standing up together and fighting for better understanding,support and funding.

the autistic community needs to be defending EVERYONE on the spectrum-defending every autistics right to live how they want and not be treated as a non functioning burden.
aspies are the closest people to understanding how we feel,and those of us who are LFA who are involved in activism need to be supporting our aspie brothers and sisters to,we dont get anywhere without support.

birthday and thoughts for now

am now thirty years old,birthday was on monday this week,got some nice presents off friends of mine and family plus mum and dad are giving the money tomorow to get a new basket ball jersey and shorts-current set has been damaged by being put in the dryer.

though am getting better settled in to community care living, am suffering badly from flashbacks-have had them for years but very badly since last year amongst other smaller signs which all presents like PTSD,so am going to be asking the pysch about whether it coud be PTSD,the flashback attacks are all revolving around the neglect and abuse had suffered at home whilst growing up from mums alcoholism and dads physical abuse,plus the neglect and abuse in previous residential homes and the violent rough restraint carried out by the police in september and decmber-still suffering from severe back pain as a result of the restraining,not properly medicated due to the whole situation over medication wrongly being removed due to one consultants incompetence and self being under the mental capacity act.

posted a reply and not had it appear?

much apologies to anyone who has made a post and not had it come up,have just realised there were loads of posts in need of approving,have gotten out of the habit of routinely approving stuff because of not using the blogger dashboard and having been sectioned for four months without web access,will sort it out tomorow hopefuly though do have a busy day!

special college is one step closer

went for a visit to the david lewis centre this week straight from visiting the chickens which is why am looking really dirty,was not bothered but the support staff was with [a certain madam from traffords learning disability team] acted like she was having a heart attack over it- http://www.davidlewis.org.uk/

its a special college for people who have complex intelectual disability with autism and epilepsy.
have had a tour and enrolled on their animal management course and will be doing two half days a week after a couple of trial runs.

the actual college is a huge campus;like the university campuses seen on american films, its spread across different buildings,its all private ground-they have their own roads leading up to it full of homes used by residential students of the college.

its pretty cool because am amongst many people who also wear a helmet on the course am doing.

its an hours drive from home but its a great day out,will be working with their chickens [yay], bearded dragons,snakes,rats,donkeys,ducks,hamsters etc and the course is also designed as therapy so its going to help in that way to.
one of the students there is an incredible chicken expert,this is why am so fed up of the attitudes towards those of us who have intelectual disability [known as learning disability in the UK],people think we arent able to have any skills or talents-we arent any different to them;we just have more limited mental capacities;in the same way some PCs have single core processors and why some have dual core or quad core processors,none are inferior;some just have more limitations than others.

chicken time

yesterday had finaly got to go and see the beautiful chickens of mine; harriet,temple,lorna,jim jims, dexter and kanner at the farm that belongs to the last residential home of mine.
had missed them so much,the last time had seen them was before getting sectioned last september.

one call of lorna,and she comes running over waiting for a big hug,kanner loved his hug,harriet got into it after a shock of being picked up at the start and the others werent so sure,but heres some photos of them-

^lornypoos

^snuggling up to cuddly harriet

^kanner having his hug,he doesnt like losing his manliness in front of his laydeez though,thats jim jims in the background-the dark blue chicken,she woudnt have a hug.

^mrs templeton,AKA temple,got hand tangled in her mucky leg feathers.

trafford centre visit again,no challenging behavior

went to the trafford centre this week again and had NO challenging behavior incidents,so am proving to staff am perfectly capable of going there without kicking off and it was staff fault/miscommunication that resulted in the big incident there.

anyway,this week,was there to buy a toy from hamleys for self because had finaly got some wages through that am owed from doing the service user panel interviews at greenways LD assessment & treatment hospital,am a huge thomas the tank fan and bought this little beauty;

that wasnt the only thing there that got to handle,there was a reptile group there doing an attraction allowing kids to handle the snakes however was allowed to join in to and held them;theyre amazingly sensory and they were gorgeous to-am a huge snake fan and woud love to have a pet snake.

playing with the orange snake.

                  kissing the head of the darker snake whilst pampering the orange snake.

giving a toss for fellow disabled people

was at the manchester protest against ATOS today from early on this morning,there was a load of us there and many journos,heres one photo of some of us,am the one in the manual wheelchair at the end and that is a support staff of mine whilst the other staff waited across the road baby sitting her coffee.

ATOS need to understand we will not take their bullshit any longer, they are killing sick and disabled people with their underhand tactics and quest for comission and we are saying NO MORE.

trafford centre visit

its over a week or two since being told was never going to be allowed back there again as a risk assessment carried out by social services due to having had a meltdown in the carpark there but thankfuly the social services LD team had had a meeting with the care company am under and am now allowed back,so today was the first day back,am in starbucks in this photo,enjoying a mocha and caramel frapachino with cream and caramel on top.

attenting a ATOS demonstration

am going to a demonstration against ATOS this month.
ATOS are the bunch of wannabe doctors who assess people for UK sickness and disability benefits, they get comission for finding people fit for work so they have turned benefits into a competitive market.
they have no understanding of complex conditions-learning,developmental,mental,physical, neurological etc,their assessment software is basic tick box stuff and it only applies to simple conditions so very few people get a truly fair assessment.

being a long time service user of residential care have luckily not come across this specific beast yet apart from when they denied the high rate mobility of DLA,saying over and over that high rate mobility is only for severely physicaly disabled people;denying the criteria that states' severe mental impairment with severe behavioral difficulties' and denying the fact was living with a number of people who claimed high rate mobility on that criteria,it took a lot of fucking around by support staff and a tribunal with a pissed off panel who said they cant believe we were strung along and it shoud never have got that far.

know plenty of fellow disabled people who have done including autistics and its absolutely disgusting the treatment they have faced.

for those who are unfamiliar with ATOS,have a read through these-
http://orderoftruth.wordpress.com/tag/atos/
http://atosstories.blogspot.co.uk/
http://ronsrants.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/the-truth-about-how-were-deprived-of-benefits-from-inside-atos/

social worker has applied for funding for special college

have been offered a place in post twenty five education at the special college; the david lewis centre-
http://www.davidlewis.org.uk/
all that needs doing now to seel the deal is to get the funding in place.
for those who arent aware of special colleges,these are like special schools but for adults-as with special schools they are for people who have significant disabilities that cannot be accomodated by mainstream colleges-have been refused placements on the special education courses at every mainstream college in the north west of england due to level of autism, ID and challenging behavior so more than qualify here.

most special colleges only have education for up to twenty five but the odd one has post twenty five education,a mate of mine that had met through being sectioned at greenways ID hospital is a student there so am just waiting to get the funding through.

am only wanting to do one day a week,and will be working with animals and reptiles,cant wait really looking forward to it!

inclusion independance choice show, GMEX in manchester

did something different today, went to the inclusion independance choice show which was in the GMEX [it comes under another name now but am not arsed about that].
it was an expo on disability matters and services for disabled people in all forms,profesionals and so on.
had gone because had knew one of the staff who was working on the national autistic society stand and was told about the expo by her in the first place,it was great catching up with her as had not seen her since over four years ago when she fought to get so many things in place when living in abusive very badly run residential homes.

it was free to attend and was amazing.
they had lots of presentations on everything from support dogs opening a brand new specialist washing machine for owners of service dogs [although loved the dog;was a bit pissed off at the charity because they are the only one in the UK that trains support/assistance dogs and they do fund the training for autism but only for autistic children-plenty of adults who woud benefit].

was in heaven there,so many stands had got info from and goodies,plus bought some stuff as well.

the national autistic society was showcasing the social enterprise businesses of two of their service users-one of them makes cards [have had his cards off him before and still have them] and the other lad makes fudge for a living.
tried the fudge and it was amazing,absolutely beautiful-bought a big chunk of it, the national autistic society gave him a grant to have his own business and was personaly offered it by them as well back when living under fairfield residential-as was going to sell eggs but wasnt allowed any more chickens [the girls of mine only laid a few a day if that].

onto the mencap stand,and was told am suitable for a place at one of their specialist colleges and was given a prospectus-thought they might have had adult education on offer; but they didnt know was over the age limit of special college; twenty five, the uk government fucking suck they stopped funding of over twenty fives;some years ago,we are expected to either be high functioning by the time we get to twenty five or just access shitty government funded day centres.
mencap were great,was given a introduction to the college and everything they do and was given a free tote bag with goodies inside it including a mencap wrist band and a mencap engraved pendant.
theyre favourite charity of mine so am chuffed with that.

got a free dvd off motability,bought a sensory toy; the tangle junior off a special needs shop stall- its amazing,bought a helium ballon that is shaped like a chicken,it walks along like a chicken due to weighted feet on it as well,got loads of info on new wheelchairs as am looking into getting funding for a power chair as have got low muscle tone and struggle to push self in it when out;prefer to have the independance of moving self.

anyway had a great day there,and if anyone happens to see this and they are in manchester UK/can get to manchester,its on again tomorow in the same place,free again.
the tickets can be registered online and printed off or registered at the door,however today the system was down so they just took our names.
the website is:
http://www.iicshow.co.uk/
heres some photos-

happy nappy time

just before had got sectioned in greenways learning disability A&T hospital,was due to have the latest batch of nappies ordered on prescription.
however,as we all know of life;things arent ever go that easy.

the incontinence team refused to send another batch out because was out of area in macclesfield- though it isnt that far from manchester,but thats how they roll aparently.
they refused to deliver them to the new permenent placement of mine or to mums and dads because they knew they woud be coming to greenways.
its ridiculous as every other out of area patient had no trouble with their incontinence team sending on the nappies.

so for the past four months,have been spending a shit ton of money on boots own slip nappies, many a time had ran out and because of the fact was being detained under the law was unable to always get out to get any and had to borrow off other patients,sometimes had had no protection and was spending the whole day changing and having to wipe up wherever was sitting.

but today,over four months later;marks the end of that,they have finaly delivered the batch of nappies and am very very pleased as it means will have money saved to spend on other things needed now.
heres a photo of them,am having to keep them in the bath [which doesnt get used as am not able to tolerate water on anywhere apart from head]

stressed

had a big meltdown today,bigger than yesterday.
the staff/manager have said because had had a big meltdown in the trafford centre car park yesterday am not allowed to go to there or any shops ever again incase a member of public gets the wrong idea and phones the police,its the social workers decision.
part of routine is going to the TC once a week and going to shops to get food shopping throughout the week is part of routine as well.
they said staff will go to the local small shop to get anything that want,they stock hardly anything there and there also more expensive.

had not taken this news lightly and ended up trashing room,knocking self out on the wall head banging so theres a big bloody splatter left behind and barely functional hand from punching the walls and self.
how can anyone stop someone from going to a shop,its part of life? supported living is supposed to enable someone to have as normal life as possible whereas it just feels like there intent on controling as a sly punishment, em doesnt take control from anyone,have not eaten at all today because of it and dont intend to ever again,it was only until several years ago had not eaten any food for years and was surviving on shitty ensure plus liquid feed,fighting against feeling controlled is a big issue for self.

working for the NHS

most people see those of us on the severe or profound spectrums as being non functional and unable to contribute to society in any form,even more people think we cant have jobs and if we do we are simply not autistic.

well am proud to say am a member of staff for the NHS,working as an interviewer for both trafford and CWP learning disability teams.
had been working as an interviewer for the NHS since last year, for CWP and greenways learning disability A&T hospital.

its not a regular job but its a paid which is more than what most high functioning autists have-and theyre also the most accessible and understanding people have ever known [it probably helps have known them for a decade],have met many kind fellow LD friends through working for the team as well as getting to pester and mock the hell out of the social workers [past and present ones of mine],the community support workers and the specialists who are all on the same floor for the learning disability team.

this is a photo of self hard at work,on a break,use this photo for a PECS symbol;