Saturday, 3 November 2012

the tragedy that is disability



[traj-i-dee] Show IPA
noun, plural trag·e·dies.

a dramatic composition, often in verse, dealing with a serious or somber theme, typically that of a great person destined through a flaw of character or conflict with some overpowering force, as fate or society, to downfall or destruction.

the tragic  element of drama, of literature generally, or of life.

 please stop feeding this mindset to autistic and non autistic kids and adults that autism in any severity is a tragedy.

some of us grew up being resented on a daily basis due to our level of autism and lack of support or education for parents,mine used their fists and anything they coud grab hold of to beat every autistic and learning disabled trait,difficulty and behavior,regulary outloud said they wished had not been born,or was like more sister,was made out to be nothing but a lifelong burden to them by the ever useless doctors,whom had told mum only brain damage caused autism.
all of their tragic attitudes rubbed off on em throughout entire life,felt was  useless and people around em were only to quick to highlight that.

mum and dad had no idea em was aware of their discusions on a possible childrens home placement.
was made to feel like the tragedy of the family,the one they piled resentment on and hate because was not intelectualy or school wise on the level with sister plus she never was any trouble at school she was just socialy impaired and shy.

it wasnt until em was in the residential services am in now that the mentality of mine changed,these guys to be specific[link to ems incubation project page,its out of date as they said theres no webspace left]- *click here*
it isnt that believed coudnt do anything but that had believed was worthless and useless and didnt deserve to be here because had caused so much suffering to the family.

the residential centre am in over the past few years has helped work on re programming that thinking.
they also have taught the family am not a tragedy,am not a stain on the families good streak.
most importantly they have helped self to accept self instead of loathe and by christ that was an achievement.

they have helped em to understand own autism and how it affects others on the severe and profound spectrums of autism to,without this understanding woud not be even near aware of how deeply it affects others and it is this why understand so many parents think we all have to fit one stereotype or another to match their idea of what definition shoud be.

the problem that thinking of us as a tragedy causes is exactly what have just wroten above,it creates such an embedded self loathing mentality and possibly depresion for the autistic who has enough awareness of language;and both deep resentment,hatred,self loathing and depresion for the parent.

just because we are born differently to the wishes of the parent,doesnt mean we cannot have a life which is comfortable,acceptable and interesting to us, it does not mean we cannot have a quality of life.
every profoundly autistic em know in this residential centre has a high quality of life.
the adult profoundly autists both have a job once a week,they even attend a mainstream [UK] FE college.
one of them is even able to use normal public transport no problem,and they both access the mainstream community.

with the right support,clear boundaries in place,sensory integration and behavioral issues worked on, chances to communicate easily and understanding and a safe supportive but independance encouraging place to live in; autistics can have a great life,there is no tragedy to our lives or condition,the only tragedy is the serious abuse some of us have recieved [and unfortunately for some will stil] in care......
....the lack of understanding,the lack of coping with us leading to some autists being spoilt all their lives and thinking they own everything......
.....the autists who are completely aware that theyre using violence to control others......
....the people who target us/manipulate us/groom us and bully us online because of our level of autism they see us as weak whilst thinking theyre 'hard' for bullying and predatarily targeting a very vulnerable adult......
....the legal lack of benefits to survive on when we live in residential care..... ........the lack of understanding off our shitty govnernment who continuously shuts down day services for us and leaving many stuk in the house because they cannot work,cutting funding on special education courses for us not to mention some years ago when they removed all funding all together for people over twenty five going to special colleges...........
.......cutting social services funding so they had to get rid of people who didnt meet the highest level of critical needs which has left vulnerable people without care.......
now THAT is a tragedy.
THAT is a tragedy we need to cure.
-see our real tragedy is other people!
-our tragedy is the media and its inability to make people aware of autism without portraying it as a kids disability or a tragedy on mankind.
-our tragedy is having organisations whom are biased towards ideas such as cure representing us,they dont give a stuff about our voice either and think even those of us with severe or profound autism need our parents to represent us.
-our tragedy is these biased organisations portraying autism as a kids disease to get more donations coming in,most of which goes on cure research AND NOT supporting the autistics who exist today and are struggling to survive.
-our tragedy is the lack of basic respect,rights,advocacy, and human equality that those of us with severe or profound autism get from the autistic community, isolating us when they develop advocacy or autism spectrum forums,or when theyre standing up for the spectrum.
-our tragedy is the autism and autistic communities arguing between each other about what autism is and "how their kid is more autistic and disabled than some other kid and how people in the autistic community dont represent their child because theyre able to use a computer and type",instead of getting together and campaigning for better awareness and understanding against the REAL problem-the bastard disablist governments of our countries.